Jason Cosmo Novelette-in-progress: Rainy Daze

Greetings, Loyal Reader!

Today I have an excerpt from a new Jason Cosmo story to share with you.

Relative silence here at the Update lately, as I have been working on several stories, including polishing up the two Jack Scarlet stories I posted to Smashwords. But this is the Jason Cosmo Update, so I assume you’re here for an update on what’s new with Jason Cosmo, fascinating as my other writings may be. I thought I’d give you a sneak peek at what I’ve been working in recent weeks, a Jason Cosmo novelette called Rainy Daze. It’s a story within the story, set between chapters of Hero Wanted. Like a deleted scene, except it was never actually part of the book.  I intend to finish it soon and will publish the full tale at Smashwords when I do. For now, here is the opening of Rainy Daze:

Rainy Daze

A Jason Cosmo Adventure

True to Mercury’s prediction, it rained the next day. And the next. And the day after that. The downpour did not relent for five rainy days. The Longwash overspilled its banks, sweeping aside boulders and trees as it rampaged southward. The rising water forced us to abandon the track beside the river for higher ground. Alert for flash floods and mudslides, we picked our way along the hilltops.Hero Wanted (Chapter 7)

“This is not good,” said Mercury Boltblaster.

“Do you mean the rain?” I asked. “Because I agree.”

It was unfriendly rain, heavy, cold, and stinging. A rain that soaked us to the skin while slowing our pace out of dismal Darnk from headlong flight to fretful trot to tedious trudge.

“I mean everything,” said the dusky-skinned wizard.

“Like you being hunted by the Dark Magic Society?”

“Yes.”

“And me being the most wanted man in the Eleven Kingdoms?”

“That too.”

“Our violent encounters with the mercenary Black Bolts, that terrorist Zaran Zimzabar, and Natalia Slash?”

“All of it,” said Merc. “Plus having those two along.”

He jerked his thumb to indicate the other members of our party, riding a few yards behind as we followed the narrow river road up a muddy hill. I turned in the saddle for a better view through the wind-lashed raindrops. Sapphrina and Rubis were sisters, identical twins from Zastria, golden of tress, blue of eye, brown of limb, shapely of figure, and sopping wet. Sapphrina wore blue, Rubis red. Their scanty tunics, already so tight they might have been painted on, had shrunk and become partially translucent in the rain.

“I don’t see the problem,” I said.

“I’m sure you don’t,” said Mercury. “By the way, you’re about to ride off the road.”

I tore my gaze from the twins and nudged my horse back from the ledge. It was a steep drop down the hillside. Below seethed the raging, racing, rain-racked River Longwash.

“They’ve been no trouble at all,” I said. “And we did pledge to escort them to safety.”

“You pledged. I begrudgingly acquiesced.”

“Merc, they were kidnapped, sold into slavery, and chained up in a tower until we rescued them! Helping them get home is the only decent thing to do!”

“I didn’t say we should abandon them here in the wilderness,” said Merc, in a tone that suggested exactly that. “I said I don’t like having them along.”

I again glanced over my shoulder. Sapphrina brushed a long strand of wet hair back from her face. Our eyes met. She smiled. I smiled back.

“I do.”

“You won’t like it so much when the Black Bolts catch us,” said Merc.

I snapped my head around. “How do you know they’re still chasing us?”

“For one thing, this is the only road out of Darnk.”

“All roads lead from Darnk,” I said, nodding.

“What?”

“It’s a saying we have.”

Merc scowled. “What does that even mean? There is only one road to and from Darnk. We’re on it, and so are the Black Bolts.”

“But we left them in Whiteswab days ago. For all they know, we headed east.”

“Deeper into Darnk?” Merc scoffed. “I doubt even I could withstand the stench of central Darnk—and I’ve ventured to some foul locales indeed.”

“The slime bogs are a bit rank this time of year,” I admitted.

“That aside, the Black Bolts know we were in Offal because Dylan left two of his men posted there while he led the rest to Whiteswab.”

“I didn’t see them.”

“Zaran’s men gassed them to sleep with the rest of the city.”

“Then how would they know we were there? The city still slept when we left.”

“Because I stole their horses for your girlfriends back there.”

“What?” I looked back yet again, confirming what I already knew. The sisters were indeed mounted on black horses matching those Merc and I took from the Black Bolts in Whiteswab. I hadn’t pondered the how and why of that coincidence until just now.

Catching my eye, Rubis blew me a kiss. I blushed and gave a shy wave back.

“Or do you disagree?” said Merc.

“Say what?”

“I said those girls are a constant distraction and will likely get you killed.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t hear me, did you?”

“Sorry.”

We reined in our horses at the top of the rise.

“Arkayne’s hood!” said Mercury. He shook his head. “This gets worse and worse!”

Sapphrina and Rubis caught up.

“Why are we stopping?” asked Sapphrina.

“We’ve run out of road,” I said.

On a normal day, the road dropped from this rise down to a long level stretch beside the river. But not today. Swollen up and egged on by the relentless rain, the Longwash had overleapt its banks and elbowed its way ashore, claiming all the low ground for itself. For at least the next mile or two, there simply was no road, only a frothy roil of waves and eddies and whirlpools and bobbing debris.

“We can’t ride through that,” I said.

“No,” said Mercury. “We can’t. Nor can we go back the way we came. Nor can we wait here for our pursuers.”

“Then what can we do, wizard?” said Sapphrina.

“We’ll make through the hills,” said Merc. “That stream coming down there has the look of a trail.”

“Through the hills?” I asked, the words squeezing past the sudden lump in my throat.

“Yes,” said Merc. “You know, high ground, away from the river? We’ll needs beware flash floods and mudslides. And our progress will be slow. But it will at least be progress.”

“But those hills are haunted!” I blurted. “And cursed! And full of monsters!”

“Really?” said Merc. “Well, that’s just delightful.  Follow me.”

MORE TO COME …

That’s all for now, Loyal Reader! Let me know what you think … if this is unrelentingly awful, there is still time to change it!

Best regards,

Dan McGirt

Meet Jack Scarlet, World's Greatest Adventurer!

Greetings, Loyal Reader!

I want to introduce you to another of my longtime imaginary friends, Jack Scarlet. You can read about Jack in two short–and free–ebooks I posted on Smashwords:

Jack is the second of the “Big Three” I created in my long ago youth and have written about or developed off and on for the past quarter century. The first is Jason Cosmo, hero of my published Non-Trilogy and of Hero Wanted in the rebooted Jason Cosmo fantasy adventure series. Jason, as you probably know, is my satiric/comedic take on the classic heroic fantasy or swords & sorcery genre.

I created Jack Scarlet not long after coming up with Jason Cosmo, in the early 1980s. The first Jack Scarlet story was not quite as silly as the Jason Cosmo series I was writing then, but was nevertheless a bit over the top. Jack was inspired by the action films of the day, comic book characters like Tony Stark/Iron Man, the James Bond films and the Doc Savage pulps, among other fairly obvious influences. “Jack Scarlet, Freelance Adventurer” was originally an independent hero for hire (much like the original handwritten Jason Cosmo) but has evolved into something else as I have continued to develop and update the character and his expanding universe ever since.

Yes, I do spend an excessive amount of my free time world-building and character-developing background for stories I never quite get around to actuallly writing.

I did circulate a proposal for a Jack Scarlet novel at one point in the mid-to-late 90s, after the Jason Cosmo series ground to a halt. Several publishers passed. Re-reading that proposal today, I can see why. It didn’t quite gel. I sent Jack back to the Idea Development Notebook for a few years more. In the Early Internet Period I wrote a couple of short Jack Scarlet adventures, intending to launch episodic serial that I would distribute by email or on one of those new-fangled “web sites” but I never quite had the time or energy to follow through. So Jack continued to languish and I continued to add new world details or story ideas to the notebook as they occurred to me.

In early 2001 the Taliban regime in Afghanistan destroyed the ancient Buddha statues at Bamiyan. Few people, at least in the US, were paying much attention to Afghanistan or knew what the heck a Taliban was. They seemed like good villains and the incident gave me a great idea for a Jack Scarlet story, which I started writing over the summer. Then the September 11 attacks happened — and writing a breezy action-adventure story didn’t seem so cool anymore. Back to the notebook for Jack.

The whole idea of the larger-than-life Rambo/Arnold/Die Hard action-adventure hero is in some ways dated and obsolete given the state of the world today. We’ve got real “action heroes” fighting real wars right now and their courage and sacrifices make fictional gun-blazing heroics seem trite. That is one perspective, and one that has led me to keep this character in mothballs for a long time. I just haven’t had the urge or inspiration to write such tales.

So why now? Well, in truth, I haven’t written anything new yet. I dug up those short episodes I mentioned, dusted them off, updated a couple of stale topical references, and posted them on Smashwords. Whether I’ll finish any of the other two dozen or so incomplete Jack Scarlet tales in my Story Vault or write new ones, I don’t quite know yet. My commitment to relaunching the Jason Cosmo series takes precedence. But I felt that Jack Scarlet, having been rattling around in my head almost as long as Jason, deserves at least an introduction.

I think that Bullets for Breakfast and A Cold, Cold Place to Die give you at least a flavor of the character, and a small glimpse into the world around him. I may post some more Jack Scarlet adventures, time and reader interest permitting. Hope you enjoy!

Best regards,

Dan McGirt

Hero Wanted – The Reviews Are In!

Greetings,  Loyal Reader!

The first reader reviews of Hero Wanted are starting to appear online, and so far they are overwhelmingly positive! I’m glad to know that Loyal Readers are enjoying the book and I especially appreciate those who have emailed or commented to let me know or have posted a review to let the world at large know.  Thank you!

Let’s get to it:

Loyal Reader Georges, from Luxembourg, recommended the Hero Wanted ebook in the MobileRead Forums:

“Funny read.”

Georges was seconded by forum members Dr. Drib of Peru, Slite from Sweden (who is the Minister of The Large Dogs Of Infinite Peace And Absurdity, which is a very important cabinet position in Sweden. I think.). Several MobileRead members downloaded Hero Wanted on the strength of their recommendations, helping make Hero Wanted the #1 novel on Smashwords! ((By number of downloads)) Thanks, Georges, Dr. Drib, and Minister Slite!

Last week, the first two Amazon reader reviews came in — both are 5-star ratings, for a grand total of 10 stars!

First, Loyal Reader H. Johnson from Minnesota says:

Clever and Funny with a good story too … It’s rare for a book to be able to walk that line between being a genuine fantasy novel, and a parody novel. This book gets that balance just right. Not too silly, but not serious either. … The wit is sharp, and some of the humor is dry, but that’s how I like it…

This is like a “Director’s Cut” of a movie. He has gone back and re-written the entire book from the ground up…Think Extended Edition Lord of the Rings, not Special Edition Star Wars. He took something good, and made it better.

Follow the link to read the rest of this 5-star review, including the parts I …’d out.

Next, we hear from Loyal Reader Rick Friedman:

HERO WANTED has shown that one can create a fantasy story- yet allow the characters to be painted with wit, smarts and intrigue. Not since the Late Douglas Adams have I read an author with such skills as Dan McGirt.

… This is a book that should be bought, as it can be read over and over, and digested like a fine French dinner, with new insights appearing with each reading.

But much less fattening! Thanks H and Rick for your generous reviews! I’m glad you enjoyed the book and I appreciate you encouraging others to try Hero Wanted.

That’s all the reviews I’ve seen so far. If you’ve read Hero Wanted and enjoyed the book, I encourage you to post your own review. If you didn’t like it, I don’t encourage you as strongly! But you could still post a review and discuss what you see as the flaws in my story–who knows, it might help me do better on the next book.

If you do come across a review, good or bad, that I haven’t mentioned, please let me know either in a comment here, on my JasonCosmo Twitter page, at my Dan McGirt Facebook page, or by writing me at Dan @JasonCosmo.com

Best regards,

Dan McGirt

Jason Cosmo and the Espresso Book Machine

Greetings, Loyal Reader!

Getting your hands on a print copy of Hero Wanted (assuming the free ebook on Smashwords doesn’t satisfy you) requires ordering a copy from Amazon or your other favorite online bookseller or placing a special order at your local bookshop. My publisher, Trove Books, takes a very 21st century — and, may I add, eco-conscious — approach to publishing books. Instead of killing a bunch of trees, printing a bunch of books, storing said books in a climate-controlled warehouse, then shipping the books out to bookstores in heavy trucks to sit on the shelves until someone strolls by and decide to buy a copy, Trove only prints a book when it is ordered ((Thus killing trees one at a time. The trees appreciate this.)) and ships it straight to you, via Amazon or whomever.

UPS was going to be in your neighborhood anyway.

But whether you order Hero Wanted online or at your local bookstore, you do have to wait at least a couple of days to start reading the book. Is there any way to get the book faster? If you happen to live in a few special communities around the world, then yes, there is: it is called the Espresso Book Machine.

No, it does not make coffee.

The Espresso is more of an “ATM for books.” Here is the official pitch from the makers of the Espresso, On Demand BooksWhat Gutenberg’s press did for Europe in the 15th century digitization and the Espresso Book Machine will do for the world tomorrow.

I assume that means they are hoping to set off decades of bloody religious warfare between Catholics and Protestants.

Or else provide “library quality paperbacks at low cost, identical to factory made books, printed direct from digital files for the reader in minutes, serving a radically decentralized world-wide multilingual marketplace.” Er, right. That’s more PR gobbledygook, but translation:  it’s a machine that prints, collates, covers, and binds a single book in a few minutes.

Here is a video that eventually shows you how it works:

So.  Nifty.  So what? Well, Trove Books has arranged to make Hero Wanted available through the Espresso Book Machine.  So if you live in or near a town where an Espresso Book Machine is located, you can — in theory — go there and purchase your very own copy of Hero Wanted and see it printed before your very eyes.  ((Unless they keep the machine in a back room, but why would they do that?))

Here are the known locations of Espresso Book Machines around the world:

AUSTRALIA

CANADA

EGYPT

UK

USA

If there is an Espresso near you, go check it out! I’ve seen a demo in person and it is pretty cool to watch it make a book.

If you do happen to buy a copy of Hero Wanted printed on an Espresso, remember to take your digital camera and send me a picture of you, your new book, and the Espresso at Dan@JasonCosmo.com. Send me the picture and your thoughts on the experience and I’ll feature your story here on the Jason Cosmo Update. I dont’t think anyone has bought an Espresso-made copy yet, so you could be the first!

Best regards,
Dan McGirt